The Definition of Mompreneur isn’t People-Pleaser

Jan 28, 2021

I just said NO!

 

A good friend called and asked me to serve on the board of a charity. It’s a charity I happily give my time and money to, but I still said NO. I felt terrible, but this is a HUGE improvement. I used to lose sleep over these sorts of NOs. Or worse, say yes when I knew it wasn’t the right choice.

 

I’m a recovering people-pleaser.

 

People-pleasing is a disease. It makes everyone around you feel better, but in the end, the person who ends up suffering is you.

 

Definition of People-Pleaser

According to Miriam Webster, people pleaser has two definitions:

someone or something that pleases or wants to please people

 

a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires

 

The first definition sounds pleasant, but it usually leads to the second.



Even Taylor Swift is a Victim

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How to Create a Vision Board that Fits in a Drawer

Jan 21, 2021

The thing about vision boards is what the hell to do with the giant poster board when I’m all done designing my destiny? A full-size poster board is not a simple thing to store. 

 

Then I came across a design that you could store away in a drawer.

 

BRILLIANT!

 

All the joys of vision boarding without the annoying storage issues.

 

Let me show you how:

 

Items you need:

 

  • An enormous pile of magazines
  • 2 file folders
  • Glue (I used a glue stick)
  • Art supplies (pens or paints or pencils)
  • A printer for personal photos

 

Start with flipping through your stack of magazines and clipping out any image that resonates with your vision for the year. Don’t overthink this one (and I’m really talking to myself here).  Turn on some music, grab a friend to clip with just whatever you need to make it fun.

 

After you’ve collected a pile of magazine clippings, take out your file folders. 

Fold back the folders about a...

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The Best Remedy for Overwhelm is the One You Haven’t Tried

Jan 14, 2021

I could tell from my husband's voice that I didn’t even have a second to grab shoes as I ran to the car.  Five hours later, I was tucking in my sweet boy who had just broken his first bone (actually BONES poor little dude).

 

Doctor's orders now limited my super active boy who had already felt the weight of social distancing.

 

He had a fresh perspective on quarantine.  Overwhelmed with all the limitations, those board games I’ve been begging him to play since last spring had a whole new appeal.

 

The good news: you don’t have to break any bones for the cure.

 

Here are some ways we can take a fresh perspective to move past overwhelm:

A Shift in Thinking

Now into our second full week of 2021, you’re optimistic with a fresh perspective that comes with a new year.  Use this as your next chapter.  We start a new year feeling a sense of new beginnings.  

 

HELL YES to a clean slate.  

 

Instead...

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20 Prompts for Reflection on 2020

Jan 07, 2021

Pull out your phone and compare the pictures you took on NYE 2019 to NYE 2020.

 

If the visual alone isn’t enough for you, think about the people you see in those photos.  How has 2020 changed them?

 

Nobody could have predicted a year of a global pandemic, a polarizing presidential election, and a spotlight on racial injustice.  And that’s a shortlist.

 

New Year goals and resolutions are all the rage every January. Last year I jumped on the “one word” bandwagon.

 

This year feels different.

 

We make resolutions to break a bad habit or to change something we don’t like about ourselves.  According to US News and World Reports, 80% of resolutions failed in 2015. I bet 2020 blew that stat away.

 

The sense of hope going into the New Year is strong, but it’s calling for a higher level of commitment. Try taking a different approach to this fresh start. Try reflection.  

 

What is a...

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4 Ways to Create Productivity Improvements for Female Creatives

Dec 31, 2020

Managing your to-do list should never take more time than checking those boxes.

 

This is the wasteland of productivity. I have waded through it too.  

 

We all want a system that’s effortless.  Something that supports the way our brains work rather than drag down our productivity.

 

The ideal is to find a system that works with you and then make productivity improvements.

 

Remember when you tested a hypothesis in junior high school science class?  Memories of the egg drop experiment are rushing to me.  You designed a vessel to protect an egg when dropped and then tweaked it until it worked.

 

Let’s use the same approach with your productivity.  Test these changes and see what works for you:

 

Email Monster

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How to Make "Plan for Happiness" Work for You

Dec 10, 2020

You know that friend that has it all together.  AND she’s always beaming.  You look at her and think, “that’s a level of happy I just can’t reach.”  

 

Or is it?

 

What if I told you that a little time spent with your calendar could improve your happiness?

 

Yes, even if you aren’t a planner.

 

Before I get into the details, let’s define happiness.  Happy is a feel-good word. Another way to look at this is emotional health.  

 

Not everyone is happy all the time.  Even Mr. Rogers had his bad days.  

 

He helped kids identify their feelings.  Take the lyrics to this song of his for example:

 

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?

Do you pound some clay or some dough?

Do you round up friends for a game of tag?

Or see how fast you go?

 

Mr. Rogers was onto something.  It’s how we handle the darker emotions that’s the true sign of our...

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Why a Fulfilling Life is Unique for Everyone

Nov 05, 2020

How’s life?  You answer that question almost every day and “I’m fine” slips out without thought.

 

What does that mean? It’s different for everyone.

 

It’s our privilege as humans to pursue a life of fulfillment.  But that is such a subjective idea.  What seems to be a fulfilling life as a teenager is entirely different than a busy mom in her 30s.

 

I recently listened to an interview with Nastia Liukin.  A five-time Olympic Gold medalist.  As a kid, she felt blessed to pursue her dreams at the highest levels, but the career of an Olympic gymnast has a short lifespan.  She had to redefine herself in her mid-twenties.

 

You may not have the desire to go for the gold but we can all relate to having to redefine our dreams.

 

Let’s look at the factors that make up a fulfilled life.

 

Making Time for Everything

This is impossible. Or is it?

 

Life balance is a joke.  If you...

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Here's the Deal with Sitting too Much

Oct 22, 2020

Gripping tightly to my mom’s shoulders, I hobbled from the car to my daughter’s first-grade classroom.  I had just celebrated my 40th birthday, but no doubt I moved like a 90-year-old

I was using my mom as a makeshift walker.     

Looking back on it now, I have no clue how I maneuvered my broken body into a tiny wooden first-grade desk.  After the Back to School presentation wrapped up, one of the other moms put her arm around me to ask what was wrong.

“I’ve got scoliosis,” I sighed, “and this just happens every once in a while.”

She offered to come to my house and rub magic oil on to relax my spasming muscles. Kinda creepy but desperate for any relief, I agreed.

The oil didn’t save me.  

Had I reached a new low in my desperation to stop the back pain?  

After I regained the ability to stand upright, my mission was to sit less.

Sitting is the New Smoking

This phrase caught on like...

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5 Ways to Plan for Tomorrow

Oct 15, 2020

Note the word PLAN, not Schedule in the headline.

The difference is subtle but significant.

Your schedule is an execution of your plan.

Beware of your schedule filling up with little thought.  That free email marketing you’re signed up for tomorrow.  Is that working towards your most important goal?

Planning takes more effort.  You need to protect your time.  Not give it away.

Plan Your Day

Taking a few minutes at the end of each day will ensure you spend more time in planning mode.

Review your day.  Open your calendar, whether it’s paper or digital.  This is where you review what’s on your schedule.  Take the time to prepare for meetings or appointments.  Is there a spirit day in your son’s class?  Pull out the outfit tonight before you tuck him in.

Chose your top 3 priorities for tomorrow.  This is the planning part.  Don’t start working off an endless to-do list.  You need to prioritize...

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Why Should I Have a Morning Ritual?

Oct 08, 2020

Getting up before the sun never gets easy.  Honestly, most days, I want to roll over and go back to sleep. 

Here’s why you need to fight the urge to hit snooze.

Reason #1: Connection 

Before sunrise is my time to connect with myself.  To work on the person I want to be.  Reflect on the directions my life has taken and rejoice in those moments or learn from those failures.  

I unpack what’s on my mind.  First, by silencing it through meditation and then by journaling.

Reason #2: Habit

It’s the perfect time to build a habit.  Say you want to work on drinking more water, make it the first thing you do each morning.  It doesn’t have to happen at 5 am.  Just guzzle down as much water as soon as you hop out of bed.

Reason #3: Willpower

Willpower is stronger in the morning. 

Remember the last time you had friends over for dinner and you bought a dessert for the kids?  You bought those extra chocolatey...

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