You know that friend that has it all together.  AND she’s always beaming.  You look at her and think, “that’s a level of happy I just can’t reach.”  

Or is it?

What if I told you that a little time spent with your calendar could improve your happiness?

Yes, even if you aren’t a planner.

Before I get into the details, let’s define happiness.  Happy is a feel-good word. Another way to look at this is emotional health.  

Not everyone is happy all the time.  Even Mr. Rogers had his bad days.  

He helped kids identify their feelings.  Take the lyrics to this song of his for example:

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?

Do you pound some clay or some dough?

Do you round up friends for a game of tag?

Or see how fast you go?

Mr. Rogers was onto something.  It’s how we handle the darker emotions that’s the true sign of our...

How’s life?  You answer that question almost every day and “I’m fine” slips out without thought.

What does that mean? It’s different for everyone.

It’s our privilege as humans to pursue a life of fulfillment.  But that is such a subjective idea.  What seems to be a fulfilling life as a teenager is entirely different than a busy mom in her 30s.

I recently listened to an interview with Nastia Liukin.  A five-time Olympic Gold medalist.  As a kid, she felt blessed to pursue her dreams at the highest levels, but the career of an Olympic gymnast has a short lifespan.  She had to redefine herself in her mid-twenties.

You may not have the desire to go for the gold but we can all relate to having to redefine our dreams.

Let’s look at the factors that make up a fulfilled life.

Making Time for Everything

This is impossible. Or is it?

Life balance is a joke.  If you...

Two little letters, able to transform. NO.

Rosa Parks’s refusal to give up her seat sparked a movement to end racial segregation.  

Today, coronavirus lockdown protesters are making headlines saying NO.

Tomorrow, your refusal to take on that collaboration project will give the time you need to reconnect with your teen suffering from isolation.

Saying no is a special power you can use to make things happen that might seem impossible.

Plenty of pieces have been written on how to say no.

Today I want to show you why it’s worth the effort.

A No is a Yes to Something Else

We’ve all heard this before, but it bears repeating because when we face rejecting an invitation, it’s easy to forget. (Dare I say it warrants a Post It Note on your bathroom mirror.)

To decrease your busy burden, get comfortable saying no.

A no to that invitation to speak at the local networking event is a yes to the time...

Gripping tightly to my mom’s shoulders, I hobbled from the car to my daughter’s first-grade classroom.  I had just celebrated my 40th birthday, but no doubt I moved like a 90-year-old

I was using my mom as a makeshift walker.     

Looking back on it now, I have no clue how I maneuvered my broken body into a tiny wooden first-grade desk.  After the Back to School presentation wrapped up, one of the other moms put her arm around me to ask what was wrong.

“I’ve got scoliosis,” I sighed, “and this just happens every once in a while.”

She offered to come to my house and rub magic oil on to relax my spasming muscles. Kinda creepy but desperate for any relief, I agreed.

The oil didn’t save me.  

Had I reached a new low in my desperation to stop the back pain?  

After I regained the ability to stand upright, my mission was to sit less.

Sitting is the New Smoking

This phrase caught on like...

Note the word PLAN, not Schedule in the headline.

The difference is subtle but significant.

Your schedule is an execution of your plan.

Beware of your schedule filling up with little thought.  That free email marketing you’re signed up for tomorrow.  Is that working towards your most important goal?

Planning takes more effort.  You need to protect your time.  Not give it away.

Plan Your Day

Taking a few minutes at the end of each day will ensure you spend more time in planning mode.

Review your day.  Open your calendar, whether it’s paper or digital.  This is where you review what’s on your schedule.  Take the time to prepare for meetings or appointments.  Is there a spirit day in your son’s class?  Pull out the outfit tonight before you tuck him in.

Chose your top 3 priorities for tomorrow.  This is the planning part.  Don’t start working off an endless to-do list.  You need to prioritize...

Getting up before the sun never gets easy.  Honestly, most days, I want to roll over and go back to sleep. 

Here’s why you need to fight the urge to hit snooze.

Reason #1: Connection 

Before sunrise is my time to connect with myself.  To work on the person I want to be.  Reflect on the directions my life has taken and rejoice in those moments or learn from those failures.  

I unpack what’s on my mind.  First, by silencing it through meditation and then by journaling.

Reason #2: Habit

It’s the perfect time to build a habit.  Say you want to work on drinking more water, make it the first thing you do each morning.  It doesn’t have to happen at 5 am.  Just guzzle down as much water as soon as you hop out of bed.

Reason #3: Willpower

Willpower is stronger in the morning. 

Remember the last time you had friends over for dinner and you bought a dessert for the kids?  You bought those extra chocolatey...

Last year burnout was classified as an official medical diagnosis.  No doubt that 2020 confirmed this decision.

Not surprising, but still alarming.

I’m no doctor, but the logical treatment for burnout is the often overused term self-care.  

I’m not talking about an extravagant spa retreat.  That’s amazing if you can make it happen. But you need something that can fit into your everyday.  A moment to notice the fall leaves on the tree out front.   Time to silence all of your devices.  

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyday Self-Care Strategies to Prevent Burnout

• Create boundaries between home and work. This has become a challenge for everyone as we all work from home. Set a firm time on when you will be “leaving work” and don’t let it creep into your downtime.  Differentiate between work time and downtime.

• Take a bath. Not to make it an Instagram...

My phone lit up again at 3:33 am.  I set it to do not disturb, but somehow my mom’s spirit sent me a message in the middle of the night.  As I type these words, I realize how crazy this sounds, but I’m not sure how else to explain it.

When mom passed away a year ago the 3 am wake-up calls began.  At first, the wake-up call came often, but today it doesn’t happen so much.

Taking an awkward step deeper into the spirit world, I’ll share that the 3 is a significant number. My mom left behind 3 of us in our immediate family.  It’s my reminder to carry on her legacy of holding the 3 of us together.

Don’t worry.  I’m not turning this piece into a discussion of mediums and tarot cards (although those fascinate me at Halloween parties).

Today I’m pondering legacy and the seasons of life.  These became very real to me when I had to say goodbye to mom.  Each stage presents unique opportunities and challenges if...

How to Family Meal Plan and Enjoy It

Last week things were tense in my house over taco meat.

Yep, taco meat.

It wasn’t just any taco meat.  It was the frozen taco meat I had prepared weeks ago so I could take a night off from cooking.  A frozen meal from an evening of double cooking is something worth fighting for... who’s with me here?

Hubby had pulled it out to make lunch for the kids on a random Thursday.  Bonus points for helping with lunch, but when I walked into the kitchen to see taco meat sizzling, I saw red. I’m territorial over my freezer meals.

Ok, I agree I need to be more flexible (working on it).  

There are about a million things I’d rather be doing than meal planning and grocery shopping.  BUT, I believe the taste and quality of what we eat in important.  So I have a system to get it done quickly and painlessly.

Hoping it will help you.

My Meal Plan Process

On Monday nights, we always eat leftovers.  (Or...

I had stayed out late the night before. Too much tequila made me next-level tired.  Somehow, I still held my promise because my daughter means the world to me.

Thinking back on it a few days later, it was priceless bonding time with my girl.  We toured the murals of downtown Roseville (my childhood hometown), and I indulged her love of snapping IG pics with interesting backgrounds.

I spend lots of time in my head questioning myself in the moment.  I took a second to celebrate my good decision. 

Do you ever take time to reflect?

You probably wonder... WHY?  When time is a precious commodity, sitting with our thoughts seems to be a waste. Or maybe a luxury you can’t afford.

Let me explain to you why it’s worth it.

Research of call center employees who spent 15 minutes at the end of the day reflecting about lessons learned performed 23% better after 10 days than those who did not reflect. Another study of UK commuters found a similar result. ...