Kvetching means complaining in Yiddish.
It is something I have known since childhood. Having a Jewish mom and Jewish grandparents shaped my upbringing. Funny how we are influenced by our environment as children.
Since becoming an adult, I have noticed I complain more than I'd like to, whether it is because of my upbringing or not. In today's post, I'd like to talk about why we complain and how to choose gratitude instead.
Let's look at the definition of complaining: to express grief, pain, or discontent, but also expressing satisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs or an event.
What's the difference between complaining and expressing emotion?
In a conference, when you listen to a speaker, you may say, “that speaker was boring.” That's complaining, but you can also say, “I did not learn anything from that speaker.”
Reframing it as an emotion takes the complaint out of it, but it also gives you an opportunity to...
Can I have your attention?
It's a given that we ask for attention, but don’t give it away so easily. The purpose of today's post is to discuss why that is so critical.
Mind wandering can be a good thing. It can inspire us to be creative. It is nice to get lost in thought when we are facing a difficult situation or want to relax on a Sunday afternoon. There are times, however, when you don't want your head in the clouds.
The mind wanders a lot more than we would expect. A scientific study shows that 96% of Americans experience wandering minds. Our heads are off task up to 50% of the time during the day.
Attention is what our brain focuses on, the boss of everything we focus on. Don’t you want a nice boss? We don't want to be led down rabbit holes we don't want to go down.
Let's look at the definition of mind wandering. Mind wandering is you are not guiding your mind to remain on one topic. Your constraints are...
Focus is more challenging for those with attention deficit issues, and what can neurotypicals (without ADHD) learn from these tools?
I want to start with my journey with ADHD. My daughter was five years old when she was first diagnosed. She had tics as a toddler so we were already really spending a lot of time in doctors' offices trying to figure out what was going on.
The diagnosis came when we took her for extensive testing with a licensed educational psychologist. My husband and I wanted to try everything we could before using medications. There are a lot of differing opinions on this subject, but I want to be clear…there’s no shame in choosing medication. My son was diagnosed a few years later.
I have been very invested in trying to find tools and hacks to help my kids focus. School requires attention to things kids find very, very boring. ADHD kiddos tend to get into a lot of trouble and really struggle with focus.
Goal-setting is a frenzy around the new year. Motivation is ramped up by a fresh start.
New beginnings don't have to wait until January 1st.
"Most of us have harbored a sense that beginnings are significant. Now
the science of timing has shown that they're even more powerful than
we suspected. Beginnings stay with us far longer than we know;
their elects linger to the end”
WHEN by Daniel Pink
As a child, my family moved from southern to northern California. On long weekends and holidays, we drove back and forth between the two. A GIANT cattle ranch is halfway between the two (about 3.5 hours into the drive). Without even looking up from the movie I was watching, I could smell cows and feel excitement for getting to Grandma's.
Back to School is a landmark in time, just like the cattle ranch is a physical landmark. In an article published by the Wharton School, it was found that temporal landmarks, or distinct...
There is a real struggle at my house to empty the dishwasher. It's a kid's chore, but I find myself bracing myself every time I utter "empty the dishwasher."
A recent therapy session addressed this power struggle. One of the recommendations was to use a timer and make a game out of how fast you can empty the dishwasher.
I smiled because I instantly thought of the pomodoro technique. (Yep productivity nerd over here). Of course, why didn’t I think of that. One of the advantages of pomodoro is gamification. The race to beat the clock makes a boring task more fun.
Pomodoro is a staple productivity technique for focus (and you’ve probably heard of it before) but before I get into more reasons why it works, here's a brief description of what it is…
In the late 1980s, Francesco Cirillo developed the Pomodoro Technique. It uses a kitchen timer to break work into intervals, typically 25 minutes in...
Still unpacking the glittery outfits from a weekend in Vegas.
This was unlike any other Vegas trip I’ve ever been on. Yes there were bright lights and late nights but during the day I was at a personal development conference to LEVEL UP.
I won’t get into all the details of the event, but I will say it was AMAZING!
In the personal development world, we are often asked to look at what is holding us back from reaching that next level of achievement…regardless of what you are trying to achieve.
One thing that always that comes up for me is perfectionism and after sitting in room full of others going through the same exercise, I know that I’m not alone.
Let’s start by defining perfectionism. For me it has always been allowing something to take way longer than it should (or possibly never even completing it) because I want every detail to be just right.
After spending some time researching the...
As I pull out my keyboard to write this morning, I’m feeling imposter syndrome creep in.
Reframing dips into the sphere of therapy. Because you all know how much I love therapy, I'm going to start this post by stating...find professional help if your "situation" is rooted in trauma or something that is interfering with your everyday life.
Sigh, I feel better with that off my chest.
If you're just feeling stuck, keep reading.
Let’s start out with a definition of reframing.
Harvard Stress & Development Lab explains, “Positive reframing involves thinking about a negative or challenging situation in a more positive way. This could involve thinking about a benefit or upside to a negative situation that you had not considered. Alternatively, it can involve identifying a lesson to be learned from a difficult situation. Finding something to be grateful about in a challenging situation is a type of...
That moment when your husband walks in after a long day can you feel your body tense?
It could be a tone in his voice or a particular way he holds himself. Overwhelm is written all over his face.
It's much easier to spot in others. We are more used to our own sh*t.
No matter if you are being called out for being stressed out or if you recognize the warning signs in yourself. Here are some things to keep in mind when you’ve reached that awful place of not knowing what to do next.
I’ve been an advocate for mental health long before it was trending because of my journey with parenting two kids with ADHD. I think this is a good starting point to go into overwhelm.
If this is a problem bigger than yourself, you need to look outside to get the help you need. I urge you to seek help if there are trauma or behavioral issues involved. There is zero shame in seeking help from a therapist. I started seeing a...
My dog saved my life.
As a toddler, I had the luckiest day of my life. One day, while they were busy inside, my parents let me play in the backyard. They didn't know the pool guy had left the safety gate unlocked.
My little feet floated into the pool area. I was not safe, so my dog alerted the adults. When my parents came outside to see what all the barking was about, I was about to jump in.
Do I believe in luck? Absolutely, but I also believe it takes more than gold coins and rainbows to live a full life. Let’s explore the possibilities.
This is a famous quote by Roman philosopher Seneca.
This idea makes sense because we have to put in the hard work to be prepared. If you want to land your dream client, you have to have done the work to prove to them you are worthy of their business. If you want an amazing relationship with your daughter, you have to show up in their lives...
Your goals are under attack.
You are bombarding your vision for your life with fear, perfectionism, failures, excuses, and procrastination, to name a few.
It's time to go on defense. In today's post, I will share with you my favorite weapons (aka tools) for setting goals.
It's like a roadmap.
When you're putting launching a business, there’s thought and strategy behind it (aka a business plan). This is a plan for your life goals. It’s a strategy that reverse engineers your life.
Stay with me, this is going to get dark. Think about the end of your life. How do you want to be remembered by your children, your partner, your coworkers, your friends, whoever is important to you? Begin living into that intentionally today and into the future.
The life plan is a process of looking at these goals and also looking at the obligations that you have in your life, in addition to the accounts that are...